Emotional Intelligence (EI)
Emotional Intelligence is finally getting the traction it well deserves in the news, media and among regular folks like you and me. Though the term was coined in a 1964 paper by clinical psychologist Michael Beldoch, its popularity surged with the 1995 publication of the book Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, by author and science journalist Daniel Goleman.
A number of studies and books by different authors in the field of science and psychology followed, and now Emotional Intelligence (EI), or measurement of a person’s Emotional Quotient (EQ) has gained popularity to the extent that major companies now use EI as a key factor in hiring decisions.
The concept is now mainstream, as there is proof of how critical emotional intelligence is to success in all areas of life. This includes the two areas that impact us most: our personal relationships at home and at work.
Unlike IQ, thankfully, emotional intelligence is not something you are born with, but it is a skill that you can learn and with practice, master. In fact, the days of IQ as the measurement standard of intelligence and success are rapidly dissolving away. It’s great to be book smart. But now it’s apparently better to be emotionally intelligent. Better for your home and personal life, and far, far better for your career success.
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional intelligence (EI) is a person’s ability to recognize their own emotions and the emotions of other people around them, and act in the best way appropriate to bring about a positive result. Emotionally intelligent people are able to step back, discern between the different types of feelings that arise on a daily, or even moment to moment basis. And then, be able to not only label them correctly, but then use this information to respond in the most beneficial way for all people involved in the interaction. So fights can be quickly resolved. Differences can be negotiated. Friendships and marriages and business partnerships can be saved.
The emotionally intelligent person is able to use their knowledge of emotional information and situations, and the best responses to them, to guide their immediate thinking and responsive behavior. So instead of reacting impulsively to things, they are able to step back, view an interaction more objectively, and apply the best course of action or behavior that will allow all parties benefit the most.
People who exercise their emotional intelligence regularly are able to build stronger relationships with a variety of personality types, and relate to all kinds of people in different social settings. They also tend to be far more understanding and effective leaders, and they are superior negotiators during conflict.
Emotional intelligent people are assets to a team. People who are skilled in, or have mastered emotional intelligence, are better able to manage their emotions. They do not take everything personally. They recognize people’s shortcomings and give the space needed to diffuse differences if and when it’s needed. They are far more adaptive and successful in navigating and excelling in changing environments. And, not surprisingly, they are happier people.
Why Emotional Intelligent is important
Health
Emotional Intelligence is directly linked to the ability to better manage your health. Having a better awareness of your reactions to stress, and the emotions that accompany difficult situations, helps you manage stress better. This leads to lower blood pressure, a less frequent release of damaging stress hormones like cortisol, and a variety of related reactions that can help protect your heart, mind, and health.
Anxiety and depression
Practicing better control of your emotions through emotional intelligence directly alleviates anxiety and reduces depression. A big part of emotional intelligence is recognizing that your emotions and the feelings that come with them are temporary, and they will go away. This allows you to recognize them, know that they are fleeting, and let them pass through.
The process of letting go is healthy, versus the alternative of suppressing feelings or unrealistically thinking that your unresolved anger will just disappear. People with EI know that you will experience difficult emotions, and that when you do, if you are open and let the feelings pass through you, you will come out better on the other side. This form of release will help you feel better, and have a far more positive and healthy attitude towards life.
Relationships
Emotional intelligence enables you to better manage your emotions, and understand and appreciate other people’s emotions in interactions. Instead of slamming doors and walking out of a fight, people with emotional intelligence know how to navigate tense situations, and address them head on, and in the best way. Whether it is verbally reframing a situation, or asking questions to clarify issues that are sensitive and unclear, they act with consideration and don’t lose their cool. They take a deep breath and acknowledge and respect everyone’s feelings before proceeding to resolve the matter in a more logical versus emotional way. This paves the way for improved communication, understanding, and respect.
Conflict Resolution
An emotionally intelligent person can detect another person’s emotions more accurately and objectively. And if they don’t, they will not hesitate to calmly ask for clarification. They are able to put themselves in other people’s shoes, and craft responses that align with different ways of thinking. And they can also view their own perspective more objectively. This puts them in a better position to negotiate and resolve conflicts more quickly and effectively.
Goal Achievement
Emotional intelligence enhances your ability to create strong support networks, which helps you overcome problems and persevere in times of hardship. EI helps you stay on task, navigate obstacles more effectively, and key your eye on the goal. EI vastly improves your chance for success.
Leadership
Emotionally intelligent people tend to be natural leaders as they have a greater understanding of what motivates others. This helps the EI person build stronger bonds with colleagues, and lead teams far more successfully in the workplace.
Emotional Intelligence Will Undoubtedly Improve Your Life
Emotional intelligence plays a significant role in the overall quality of your professional and personal life. It is ranked higher that the intelligent quotient (IQ), and studies have shown that the emotionally intelligent person is far more successful than someone with a high IQ.
This is because IQ can be replaced by tools and technology, but nothing can take the place of a person’s ability to learn, manage and master their emotions. And further, to better understand the emotions of other people with whom they interact.
How To Become Emotionally Intelligent
Having high emotional intelligence will help ensure you are more successful in your personal life, and in your career. The very good news is, this can be taught. A great place to start is to find an excellent book on emotional intelligence, and read it and practice what it teaches. A number of great workbooks are available as well, that will guide you through the process of becoming a more emotionally intelligent person. And, with a simple search, you can find a number of online and in-person workshops, seminars and coaches that can teach you how to tap into, learn, and hone your emotional intelligence skills.
And finally, this article is just the beginning of a series on emotional intelligence, so come back soon for more tips and guidance on becoming highly EI.
